I'm With The Band (Twenty One Pilots Fanfiction)
by Dana3246
Summary: When Yuna gets hired as an intern for a band she knows almost nothing about, she meets Josh Dun and Tyler Joseph. She thought this would be a fun, little way to make some cash to keep herself stable, but it ends up meaning so much more to her.
1. Miss Yuna

Waking up and stretching in the morning was a chore for me. Even putting on an outfit and going to work was a chore. I didn't want to feel like life was a chore because my whole life I had been told that it wasn't any way to live.

I worked for a music and arts school in Ohio. Helping music students and playing in bands and orchestras around the country was my job. Musically diverse would be a few good words to describe me with my experience with brass and string instruments. I played trumpet in middle school, then played the oboe during high school because I didn't want to do any kind of second extracurricular activity. When I went to community college, I learned how to play the cello. Playing all of these instruments diversely for my couple of years of college, I somehow ended up here in an apartment, completely dreading waking up in the morning and applying for any jobs I could find in newspaper ads and through a quick Google search online.

My mother was of Hispanic origin and my father was white. Most of my family loved music and my cousin played guitar. So, when the family had get-togethers or met around the holiday season, we would play music. It stuck around for a lot of my life even though no one except my cousin and I were going to make a legitimate career out of it. If you were to ask my brother about his opinion, he would tell you that all music did for him was keep him awake while trying to take his after-school naps and made him feel bad for me when his friends bad-mouthed me while they hung out.

I was constantly ridiculed and talked down to when I was in the hallways for being known as a geek or the weird band girl. Everyone else in band kept more of a low profile and were known for other things like science, or art, but I was the odd one out. Music was the only thing that I was particularly good at and I was always getting noticed for it when that was the last thing that I wanted to happen to me. All it did was cause me problems for being the loser who loved to take the spotlight when it wasn't like that at all. I was always labeled as the attention whore.

Waking up this particular morning was different. It was slower and I felt way more tired than usual from spending the night setting up music books for the kids in the advanced class for extra practice. This year we were supposed to go to a regional competition and the kids didn't want to feel like they were anything other than superior.

No breakfast. I went straight to the mailbox outside and looked through my mail. Nothing was out of the ordinary. Upkeep of the apartment, car payments and random advertisements like always. Hopefully, the job I applied for would

I got to the center that morning with my big box of music books. My friend Cassie helped me out with the second box and my binder full of scores that the kids had to play in the competition.

I huffed as I set down the box in my office.

"Thanks, Cassie! I don't think I would've made it in all in one piece of it wasn't for you."I opened the box and took out the books.

"You did that all by yourself?! You could've asked me for help, I stayed up two hours later than usual doing nothing."

"Hm...You can help me by putting these books on the stands!"I chuckled.

She smiled at me and took a few books to put them on stands. I started putting books on stands as well and a few of the advanced placement kids started coming in with their instruments and talked for a bit while they set up. They were sixteen and thought being in a social circle was important. My mom told me that when I got older, people's opinions wouldn't matter. They were wrong.

"Miss Yuna, what are these books for?"One of the students asked.

"Let's just say that we have a lot of perpetration to do for state regionals. That doesn't mean we have a lot of time to do it. You're going to have to take these books home with you for two weeks and practice if you want to make it. Okay, so turn to-"

"Yuna, there's a phone call for you. Someone named Tyler Joseph."Cassie poked her head out of the office door. I screeched with excitement and ran for the phone.

"Hi, this is Yuna,"I said cheerily and slightly panting.

"Hi, this is Tyler Joseph. I contacted you about becoming an intern. Umm...Well, you got the job! We can meet in Columbus around nine in the morning, right?"

"Uhh...Um, yeah that would be awesome! I'm teaching a class right now, so could you text me with the number in my resume, I'm pretty busy right now."

"No problem. Bye Miss Yuna."Tyler's voice was so sweet and soft. Waiting to meet him was bittersweet. The waiting part was the hard part. The easy part was thinking that I would be greeted by someone really sweet and generous.

I smiled at every text he sent me. Even if it was just a "Hey" or "how's it going"

Then, the next day, I woke up and actually felt happy for once. I put on some jeans, a white t-shirt with some black Converse and a black beanie. It was winter time. I put my coat on over it and went to my car and put in a song that Tyler was telling me to listen to. It was called Taken By Sleep.

"This is the story of a scarlet letter."Tyler's voice was really kind and inviting like I was telling you before.

When I pulled up to Tyler's house, he was eating a Popsicle...But it was late November.

"Hey, Tyler! Why are you eating a Popsicle? It's cold outside."I laughed.

"They're good, you want one?"He smiled. Nodding my head yes, I followed him inside his house.

"That's Josh. He's our drummer and he'll be teaching you how to work with sound effects, extra percussion and things like that."Josh waved and smiled at me.

"Nice to meet you, Josh."I smiled.


	2. Icthus Festival (1)

Tyler, Josh and I all went to Taco Bell down the street from the house and while Tyler was driving, he put in a CD called "No Phun Intended"

"Fast food greasy taco, I love!"Tyler's voice came through the speakers again.

"Don't tell me this is about Taco Bell, you little goober!"I gave him a grin from the backseat. When we got to Taco Bell, we went through the the drive-thru and ordered food for a drive to Kentucky for the Icthus festival.

I got out of the car and brought my stuff to the back of the van.

"I left my job for this...To be happy again. Thank you guys."I smiled from the back of the truck. No words had to be exchanged, just smiling was enough.

Tyler soon got tired and so did I. I gave him my blanket to he could sleep in the back of the van, but he nodded his head no and handed me the blanket back.

"You nap first."

"Tyler, you need your strength. Sleep, Tyler! You need sleep!"I laughed and gave him the blanket back.

"How about we both go to sleep."I suggested. Simple solution to something we made a big deal out of.

"Okay."He smiled and threw the blanket in the back. We both climbed over the seat and got pillows from another bag we packed. Tyler got an extra blanket for me too. We both fell asleep and woke up to Josh shaking me.

"Hey. Can you drive? I'm tired."He pouted. I smiled at him and gave him my blanket. I went around to the front of the van and drove a couple of hours, listening to a CD in the glove compartment named Regional At Best. I soon found myself singing along to Kitchen Sink and nailing the rap part.

"I rapped it! Yes!"I laughed. In the rear view mirror, I could see Tyler smiling at me and climbing over the seat.

"My brother rapped that. No one's been able to rap it...Well, everyone I've met wasn't able to rap it. Then I find the one girl who can and she's looney!"He smiled.

"Hey, I'm not looney."I smiled.

Tyler decided to drive while he sang me some songs from No Phun Intended.

"Do you...Not believe in God?"I said while I went through pictures.

"Good question. I don't know. I'm Christian, but I have my doubts."He shrugged and changed the song from Blasphemy to something else,

"I really like your music! It's...Different from what you'd hear on the radio. It's unique."I smiled and looked through my CDs I had in my backpack. None of them could compare to Tyler's music.

When we got to the festival, Tyler and Josh set up their performance equipment. Josh showed me some things that I would need to know sound board and audio-wise. I nodded my head in understanding and started setting things up while Josh was setting up his drums.

When he was done with the performance, he had people hugging him and signed a coupled of ukuleles. While he was singing You and I, I was standing next to him drumming along on my legs. Tyler and Josh were talking while I was in the van, scrolling through my phone with the door open. Tyler and Josh both came up to me and looked at me weird.

"What's wrong? Am I in trouble?"I sighed and slumped over.

"Umm...Well..."

"Oh no, I screwed something up, didn't I?! I knew this was-"

"Yuna, Yuna! You have to share a tent with one of us."Josh smiled and calmed me down.

"Ohh...Well, I guess I could bunk with Tyler. Sorry, Josh."I pouted, but he just kept smiling.

"Don't worry! It's okay."

I kept sitting in the back of the van. (With this guy named Dan! This is Mark's leg and it is SICK! -w-)

Tyler climbed in the back with me and put in a dopey smile.

"I was worried that something happened, so I came to check on you."He sat crisscrossed and messed with his fingers. He looked over to me for a couple of moments and took a glance at my lips.

He leaned in and closed his eyes. I closed my eyes too and felt his smooth lips on mine. I slowly kissed him back while his shaking hand went to my arm.

"Tyler! I need help."Josh called. Tyler quickly pulled away from me, startled as Josh peered around the corner.

When Tyler left the van, I was left alone to lock the doors and change into what I was going to wear that night. Shorts and a t-shirt. I sat in the rent and wrote in a tour journal Cassie gave me before I left.

"Tyler's a really good kisser..."I whispered to myself with a small smile.

"What was that?"Josh popped in. I gasped and held my chest.

"Joshua, don't scare me like that!"I laughed.

"I heard Tyler's name...And something about a kiss."He smirked. I could feel myself blushing and covered my face.

"Tyler must REALLY like you. It's hardly ever that he really likes a girl like this. He's weird about love."He said shyly.

"He's been in the van for a while. I'm gonna go check on him."I left the tent and went to the van. He was playing his uke and I didn't want to disturb him, so I just sat next to him and listened to his sweet voice while he sang House Of Gold. Tyler looked out to nowhere in particular.


	3. Icthus Festival (2)

Josh came back and motioned for me to go with him. He led me to a secluded part of the campground and sat down with me.

"He's not okay. He thinks about...going home a lot."He stared out into the distance, looking at nothing in particular and sighed.

"Home? Home is four hours away. I thought he wanted-"

"No, like _home_. I mean _h_ _eaven_ , Yuna. I don't want to bring religion into it, but...I just wanted you to know that sometimes he isn't in a good headspace."He continued to look out at the sky and bite his lip.

"I get it now," I said quietly, feeling tears come to my eyes and quickly wiping them.

"Are you okay?"Josh asked as he rubbed my back. I inhaled sharply and looked around, nodding. I blinked a little bit and eventually, the tears were gone and my heart stopped feeling like it was going burst out of my chest, my eyes had a sharp stinging pain in them and my arms felt weak like they were-

"Yuna?"He asked while looking over at me intensely. I chuckled and got up. I gave him a a hand up and he went to the van to get Tyler.

When I went to the tent, I started writing again. About Tyler, Josh, and things I saw when I was driving. When I was done, I wrote lyrics to Falling Too and Anathema outside of the margins on the paper so I wouldn't forget them. Tyler shuffled inside and made himself comfortable under the blankets that had been packed in the van.

"Goodnight. Have good dreams."He smiled drowsily at me before turning the other way.

I decided to write something else. You can (talk to yourself/write your thoughts) on paper so (you/they) don't (think/know) you're crazy.

I closed the journal, put it in my backpack and dug around for a moment before realizing that I had left my Advil PM at home. That was my only gateway to sleep and my only escape from worry at night.

I lay underneath the sheets and tried to make myself comfortable, but ended up not falling asleep until about four in the morning.

The next morning Tyler woke me up with a sweet, warm smile on his face.

"Hey...We're leaving today?"I asked as I sat up and checked my phone. It was seven in the morning. Only three hours of sleep that I could have extended if I was more careful and actually thought about what I was packing.

"Yeah, but I'm driving first, don't worry. You can sleep as much as you want to."When he left the tent, I groggily gathered all of my things and put them in the van when Josh gave me a blanket and pillow to sleep in the back of the van.

Josh woke me up while we drove on a highway.

"We're back in Columbus."He smiled. I sat up, stretched and yawned. While I was asleep, Cassie messaged me.

'Hey! You didn't text me :('

'Sorry...Well here's the gist of things: Tyler played some songs and he kissed me!'

'WHAT?! Did you forget about Oliver?'

'Oh shit...I'm not looking for a relationship though. But we're on a break.'

'He told me he wants to get back together with you. Remember that you don't have to say yes and besides he was too possessive and controlling anyway.'

'Would it be bad if I ignored him? Is that too bitchy?'

'Maybe. Just call him and talk to him but just call me if anything goes wrong.'

I sighed and put my phone in my pocket. When we got beach tot Tyler's house, we all went to the living room and watched cartoons for a little while. My phone buzzed and I pulled it out of my pocket, seeing that it was my mom calling.

"Hey! I heard from Cassie that you got the internship! How's your job going?"

"Yeah, hey mom...It's been awesome so far. I was just about to head back home, so don't worry, I'm okay. I'll tell you ALL about it when I get back."I didn't want a long conversation with her, so after we said our rushed goodbyes, I hung up.

"You're going back home?"Josh asked. I nodded my head yes and Tyler's face of joy turned dull and quiet.

"Do you want to go to my room, Yuna?"He instantly put a smile on his face and took my hand, leading me to his bedroom. He had basketball trophies on his wall above his bed and some baby pictures on his dresser.

"When are you coming back? Like...Just to hang out?"He asked as he scratched the back of his head.

"I don't know. That might be a while, you know? I still have a job back at home and since it's two hours away..."I scratched the back of my head and looked around his room.

"I think I have to get going."I sighed and looked at my phone to avoid an awkward situation.

Tyler showed me the way out of the house and I was on my way back home.


	4. Hanging Out With Josh

I woke up with Josh calling me. I answered the phone and groaned.

"Josh, let me be a zombie...I can't wake up this early..."I stretched and went to my kitchen.

"It's twelve. Did you fall asleep late?"

"I don't really know when I fell asleep. I watched Family Guy for a while and then I was out."I looked in the fridge. Nothing good. I went back to my room and put the phone on speaker, placing it on my dresser and proceeding to get dressed while Josh spoke.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over so I can teach you the basics of everything and get you familiar with what you have to do. We could see a movie or something after!"He cheered.

"Sounds great. If I'm going to make a two-hour commute, we should do something else too! Like, see a movie?"

"Hey...About you and Tyler...Are you two a thing?"He sounded a bit nervous.

"That's something you'll have to ask him. He'd really cute and super sweet, but he never really asked me out, so that question will be left open-ended for him to fill out."I put on my black skinny jeans and a fan-made t-shirt I got from the festival, then paired it with my gray Toms.

A lot of the time, I didn't' wear anything colorful. It wasn't that I didn't have personality, it was that I didn't have any particular idea of what colors I would match or what fit the most together and I didn't want to spend twenty minutes picking out an outfit in the morning.

"Do you want me to pick you up?"He asked.

"Sure!"I took my phone to the bathroom and brushed my teeth, washed my face, then did my makeup while Josh and I talked. I kept him company while he was driving.

I got my backpack out of my closet and packed my laptop, my camera, and my phone charger.

Josh pulled up and hung up the phone. I got my keys and put them in my backpack. I got into Josh's car and he greeted me with a smile.

"How's it going?"I smiled to Josh as I buckled up my seatbelt and he drove off.

"Good. I think I want to go out to eat before we go over percussion stuff because you need to eat!"We drove to Starbucks and went inside. I got a hot chocolate and a muffin, Josh got a hot chocolate as well. We both went back to his house and were greeted by his mom when we came through the door.

"Hi, Josh! Who's this?"His mom smiled and hugged him.

"This is my friend, Yuna!"He smiled and gave me a side hug. He was very warm and inviting.

His mom just smiled at me, but I just kind of stood there, shocked. I could hear my heartbeat and everything started to seem overwhelming. Josh's hand was clasped with mine. It felt firm but safe at the same time.

"We're going to go to the garage."He smiled and led me to the drum kit that sat on the concrete floor.

"Uh, have you ever done anything with percussion before?"He asked with a smile on his face, handing me the drumsticks and sitting on the drum kit's stool.

"No-But I mean, I've held a couple of positions with bass drum and chimes when we didn't have enough people."I shrugged.

"Then just leave the drum stuff to me and you can record the progressions in Holding On To You. I'll help you with Garage Band in a second."

I put a thumbs up and sat at the small table that was against a wall, plugged up my laptop, then started to record Josh's drumming.

I sat and watched him hit the drums skillfully to make a beat that was way too familiar to my ears. Then he stopped for a few moments and motioned for me to come over to him. A couple of moments went by before I stood and walked over to him.

"Here. Do you wanna try? I could teach you some stuff."He looked up and smiled at me.

"Sure."I shrugged as he handed me the two drumsticks and awkwardly took my waist to sit on his lap.

"Uh-Sorry it's just...It was impulse."He chuckled a bit and took my hands, placing the sticks in them and began familiarizing me with the drums.

As time went by, Josh led me to play the intro to Implicit Demand for Proof until my grip accidentally loosened and I ended up dropping the stick. Josh laughed at me when I turned around and looked at him, smiling and holding a shrug. He looked down for a few moments, then looked back up at me with a confused look on his face.

"I don't want to be rude..why didn't you talk to my mom earlier? You just froze up."

I looked into his eyes while tears formed in mine. He pulled me in and hugged me, my face stuffed in his shoulder.

"I was scared."I sobbed, upset with myself. My whole life I just wanted to be normal. Elementary school is what led me to be way more anti-social than I already was.

Ever since I was a toddler, I didn't talk to any of my extended family even when it was talking to my parents and brother at family get-togethers and parties. I only had one friend in pre-school and when she moved away without a warning, my life changed and took a turn to me not talking to any of my classmates and keeping to myself. When I made it to high school, I ended up only having two friends and like before, keeping to myself a lot.

"It's okay."He rubbed my back while I just embraced the smell of his jacket and thought to myself that my mom wasn't always right. Josh cared and had my back. I pulled away from him and looked into his eyes. A beautiful shade of brown gleamed in them and it seemed as though I could get lost in them for hours if I wanted to. They looked familiar and comforted me in a way that I couldn't comprehend.

"Do you wanna go see that movie we talked about?"He asked.

After the movie, he dropped me back off at my house and when I got inside, I felt empty like before. This same process got irritating and annoying after a while. I took off my makeup, took a shower and got into my pajamas.

I slipped myself under the blankets and checked around my room through the darkness, my only light being the glimmers showing through my blinds.

My closet door was closed and so was my room door. Good.

'Hi'

'Hey. Wyd?'

'Nothing. I'm watching tv'

'Cool. josh taught me some stuff that I would need to know for our next show.'

'Sweet! josh was gonna wear a gorilla suit and I wanted to ask you if you could dress up too :)'

'I have a unicorn onesie, with that work?'

'Yup!'

'I'm gonna try and get some sleep. I'm going to my mom and dad's house tomorrow to tell them about my job.'

'Goodnight! Have fun tomorrow'

I put my phone on the charger and proceeded turned on the tv, looking up at the ceiling and thinking to myself. Finding sleep was hard as most nights were and I knew the twenty-minute fix to that problem. The small container of Advil PM sat in the drawer of my nightstand.

When I woke up, my tv was off and my alarm was blaring. I turned it off and got dressed. I wore my black jeans, a black and white striped shirt with boots and a jacket over it all to keep me warm. I didn't put on any make-up, so I just got my backpack, my keys and my phone then went out the door to my parents' house.

Once I stepped into the house,

I sat on their couch with my hands crossed over my lap, fidgeting and picking at my nails, thinking about what they were going to ask me.

"So you got a new job, I'm really proud of you! What's your position?"She smiled at me, then handed me a mug filled with hot chocolate.

Hot chocolate was strange and off-putting in a sense. The last time I drank hot chocolate was years ago and my parents never let me have it, deeming it sugary and bad for my teeth. Which they weren't wrong.

It just seemed like once my older brother and I left the house, they started to do things differently.

"Um, I work with percussion and tech kind and of stuff for a local band named Twenty One Pilots. They're super sweet and they look out for-"

"Wait. That's the band with the two boys, right? I've been seeing them on the news recently. Let me tell you something about those two boys. I highly doubt that they'll care when you accidentally do something wrong and leave you on the side of the road for someone else to find you. I don't want that for you. You're 21 and still naive."

She spewed all of this out and didn't let me or my father get any words in. I saw that she didn't want to be interrupted by the smug look on her face, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to let her talk down to the boys like this. They were the only friends besides Cassie that didn't only care about me as a worker, but as a friend.

Yes, we only hung out a few times, but the few moments that I shared with them meant something to me.

"Mom, I'm not naive. I've hung out with Tyler and Josh. They're not like that and I can't believe you'd say that I'm going to be abandoned for making mistakes when you know that-"

"I'm your mother, I know what's best for you. End of story. I don't want you to be around them because I know you're going to be affected by it."She said sternly.

I set my mug on the coffee table, huffed and sat back on the loveseat. My dad sat up and went to the kitchen. My mom went to her room.

"Hey? 'You hungry Sweet Pea?"My dad peeked out and smiled at me. I smiled back and stood up to join him in the kitchen.

My mom decided to join us for dinner because she wanted us to be 'normal.'

I got back home and just went back to sleep. Tyler and Josh wouldn't leave me like she mentioned, but if they did end up letting me go, it definitely wouldn't be on the side of the road with nothing but the clothes on my back.

Right?


	5. CD Release Concert

No time for make-up. No time to check my phone, I ran out of the door and hopped in my car with my unicorn onesie on and met up with Josh at the college campus we were supposed to play at. Granted, it was only about thirty minutes away and I didn't have to make a long commute.

"I'm sorry I'm late-My alarm didn't go off and-"

"It's okay, just get to the computer and do your thing!"Josh smiled at me. He was in his gorilla suit like Tyler said he would be.

I went to the computer and fans started whispering and pointing at me. I just continued fiddling with the music program and getting the audio tracks in order, pretending like I wasn't affected by it. Tyler started setting up his microphone and looked down at me. He was wearing a dinosaur onesie. I smiled up at him and he winked down at me.

"Who's she?!" A fan pointed to me while I was sitting crisscrossed on the stage.

"That's our friend, Yuna!"Tyler smiled.

"You winked at her!"Another fan shouted while recording on her phone.

"She's...This next song is about not wanting to grow up!"He had a bit of hair on his forehead and he occasionally glanced at me with a smile.

After the show, Tyler came up to me and he pointed to a crowd of fans waiting to meet him and had an apologetic look on his face. I gave him a small smile and let him take pictures with fans and give autographs. People kept staring at me, but to avoid calling more attention to myself, I just kept quiet and continued writing in my journal.

I went onto the stage and sat next to Josh's drum kit, waiting for him to come back.

"Hey, what's up? You look tired."Josh smiled at me while lowering himself to my level.

"Yeah, I am pretty tired. I didn't fall asleep until four in the morning. That's without the Advil might I add."I looked out at the group of fans and wondered if they thought about Josh.

"Josh, are you going to meet some of them?"I looked over at him, then back at the small crowd.

"If they wanted to meet me, they would've shown up already, but I think they just recognize Tyler-he's been here since pretty much the beginning, I wouldn't blame them. I guess Tyler's just more attractive, don't you think?"He chuckled as the corners of his mouth rose into a smile and creased his eyes.

His smile made my chest feel light, but I didn't really know why.

On the drive back home, things didn't feel right. I was checking my intervals and mirrors more frequently than I usually would.

 _What if I crash? Who would find the body? What if I just swerved off the side of this bridge?_

I pulled over and looked out at the road. Cars passed me as I took a few breaths to calm myself down to the point that I could make it all the way home.

That was all I was focused on right now: Trying to make it home.

Once I made it home, I got myself some water and sat on the couch for a bit, looking around the apartment.

I decided to call my doctor's office because I knew that taking Advil PM every-other night wasn't beneficial to my health and hormones. Things had to change. Especially because it was affecting how I was feeling throughout the day; making me feel groggy and slow.

Once I booked the appointment that was set for the next day at eight in the morning, I went to the grocery store to pick up food. Most of the groceries were things that I could eat on a budget, like fruits and vegetables, value brand foods to make meals with, and splurged on a bit of junk food.


	6. Something Isn't Right

Waking up the next morning, things seemed to bother me more than they usually would. My chest felt heavy and I was too aware of everything that was around me.

I decided to message Josh about the subject. He was the only one to see me cry.

'I'm going to a doctor's appointment.'

'what's wrong? Did something happen?'

'On the way home I had to pull over and things just haven't been making sense. I'm starting to worry again.'

'Aw...I really really hope everything gets sorted out. I'm praying for you.'

'Thank you. You're so sweet.'

I set my phone back down on the nightstand and went to the bathroom, brushed my teeth and washed my face, checking out the small acne scars that wouldn't go away. Hopefully one day I would get them surgically removed...Only if I could find the money. _Maybe someday._

Clothes were simple to pick out. No flashy colors, just the camouflage spectrum. I pulled out a gray T-shirt, black jeans, and my red Vans. I looked back at my bed and sighed. _I'll see you soon._ I grabbed my backpack and left.

When I arrived at the doctor's office, I signed in and sat in the waiting area that was filled with cold lighting and uncomfortable chair until the doctor peeked through the door.

"Yuna Smith?"He called out. I snapped my head up from my phone and smiled at him. We walked down the narrow hallway until we reached his office.

"You can sit on that table there and I'm just going to chart some things. I'll be right back in a moment."He gave me a reassuring nod and left the room, closing the door behind him.

 _Well, what the hell do I do now?_

I leaned forward and rested my head in my lap, my hands running through my hair.

"Good grief, Yuna...Why are you like this, you shouldn't be wasting the doctor's time like this. Oh my god, why are you like this, why are you like this..."I sighed and huffed, sitting back up.

The doorknob clicked and turned. I straightened myself up and watched the doctor walk into the room.

"So, how have you been feeling recently, Yuna?"He took a seat in a rolling chair and grinned at me.

"I've been really worried. Uh...Like, yesterday I was on my way how from my job and I had to pull over. I started thinking about crashing-Morbid stuff like that. And when I try to fall asleep, I can't because my mind will just shoot to the worst possible things that can happen, or I'll start thinking about all of the work I have to do, my relationships. The only way I can make it stop is with Advil PM and I don't want to do that to myself...My brain is just...Always thinking, and it thinks way, way too much."

"Well, we could do some brain scans and see if everything's alright up there."He reassured me and wrote some things down on his clipboard.

"If you could walk with me."

After the scans, he walked with me back to his office and read the information back to me from the sheet of paper filled with typed notes and diagnostics.

(Okay so...I don't have any experience with medications so excuse me if any of this information is false or inaccurate.)

"You have an anxiety-specifically panic disorder. I'm prescribing you trazodone. A lot of people struggle with this...mental illness and it's nothing to be ashamed of. I want you to take the Advil PM and hide it in a place you'll forget, or with a close friend. Take the medication twice a day, one in the morning and one at night. Come back in two weeks and we'll monitor your progress. If things don't get better in about a month, we'll let you know and go from there. If you feel like anything at all is wrong, or you begin to have thoughts of harming yourself, please let us know."He handed me two slips of paper; One with my next appointment date and one for the prescription.

I picked up the prescription from the pharmacy and went back to the apartment. When I pulled into my parking space, I saw a figure sitting in the chair outside my apartment. Once I started walking up, it was Josh.

"Josh? I thought you were working on drum stuff today?"I asked as I started to unlock the door.

"Seeing you was more important. I wanted to see if you were okay."He smiled and stood up.

"Let me get settled first and then we'll talk, okay?"I looked up at him with a small smile and opened the door. I set my backpack on the floor and went to check my mailbox. More bills and advertisements.

"So!"I huffed, plopping down on the opposite side of the couch, facing Josh.

"So."He chuckled.

"I went to see my doctor today, as you know aaannd I got prescribed...Trazodone...for my panic disorder."I said neutrally, looking at his features. Not looking at his eyes. Just his facial features.

"Oh. I don't-I don't know what to say to that. Is there anything I can do for you?"He asked.

"No, it's fine. I'll be fine."

I went to sit next to him and embraced him in a hug.

"Thanks for your concern, but...I'll be okay."I pulled away from the hug with my hands on his shoulders.

For the rest of the day, we hung out and just watch tv and talked about the band's plans until Josh went home. the next day, we were supposed to meet up with Tyler and help him record some audio. Maybe then I could discuss with him what our kiss meant since we hadn't talked much after.

Things were definitely going to get awkward.


End file.
